How Are You Feeling?

First topic message reminder :

We needed this thread!

Hi Shylouth, and welcome to the forum.

Johnny - ya i got word back last week, i got thru to the second round of interviews, it's between me and someone else.

I felt the first interview went very well - thank god for inderal, it definitely cured my anxiety attacks. I only felt a bit nervous beforehand, but didn't get a full blown panic attack like i usually do (shaking, not being able to breath, out of body experience, etc). I actually felt very confident talking in the interview, even when i didn't really understand the questions!

So need to get some more inderal off the doctor for the next round - it's not addictive, but the feeling of being in control is definitely something i want again. It's just a pity i can't do it without it, cos when they rang me on the phone last week i got an anxiety attack cos i don't use it everyday.

The job seems great, too good to be true! But it requires a lot of communication skills, a nightmare for someone with SA!

Johnny - any word back from the college courses? Which ones did you apply to?

thats brill news christina and congrats on going over doing it. atm in time i doubt id be able to do it tbh. you should be very proud of urself and dont worry about the communication part just yet. after a while u ll get used to it np

i have nt heard back from the colleges yet, i shud be getting a letter this week tho to attend a numerical assesment exam in maynooth on the 24th of this month. i applied for psych course there and in waterford. im not looking forward to the exam tho as i have to go up the night b4 on a bus and stay in a b&b over night.

atm im going through an anxiety phase brought on by a fear of getting a panic attack. i read through the cbt for panic attacks and apparently i have to allow it to happen without trying to use breathing stgys to control it, so i ll see that there is nothing to be afraid of . i am not thrilled about this at all, i hate the idea and im not sure i can do it. after i got a full blown attack nearly 2 yrs ago it seriously fked me up and i was terrified of getting another one ever since. i never actually experienced another one since then and forgot all about it, but now the fear is after returning. fml !!!!

anyways. . . . . . if i dont go through with it, its gonna keep on haunting me, so ........ i guess i ll have to . what ever does nt kill ya makes u stronger eh, fs !!

@ShyLouth:
Welcome!! I'm tempted to try valium as nothing else works but i noticed i become too dependant on drugs to be considered safe. I once stole Xanax off a woman after she quit a course we were doing but thankfully it crumbled in my hand when i went to take it - it wasn't meant to be!
Glad it's working for you though, just try not to be like me!!

@Christina:
Well done you for getting thru to the second round. You'll be fine when the time comes, just believe in yourself (...or trick yourself into believing in yourself)! I asked my psych about beta blockers before but she said it would be kinda pointless since my anxiety's mostly internal. Still though, i'd like to be able to walk past a group of people or a child without feeling like someone's smothering me with a pillow... I may ask my GP if i can get it for when I'm shopping or walking downtown when schoolkids are everywhere!

@Johnny:
Best of luck with accepting the panic attack. They taught me something like that in mindfulness meditation for pain or discomfort or anything that annoys you. Something about completely absorbing yourself in whatever distresses you making it pass sooner. Its worked on some things - apart from headaches!

@ no oil painting

yes the prob with meds is getting dependent thats why you need to limit your self to 2-3 a day or just one before you have a stressfull situation coming up.
my self prescribed prescription only costs me 30 euro a week and iv got about 1000 tablets.....so my thinking is if i can get habituated in living a normal everyday life like "normal" people instead of being afraid to go out side the door!! Then after a year of that is should become second nate, like we've all learned to live day to day anxious so why not jus learn to live normally and re-train your thinking so silly thing dont bother you anymore.....


i could send you some of my valium no-oil if you wanna try this approach

AAARGH i feel like shit!!
I switched diets 'cos Weight Watchers wasn't working for me and I'm tired of starving myself (trust me, i really was) and eating the wrong foods.
Stuck perfectly to my reccomended calorie intake and guess what? I think I've gained half a bloody stone!!!
Siiiick of bein' fat!
I'm actually so depressed right now, and to make it worse I'm spending St Patricks day in my parents'. Gonna have comments made abut my weight... "yay"... Honestly wish there was a way to lose mass amounts of weight in the space of a few days...
Can't f***ing go outdoors now....

shylouth wrote:@ no oil painting

yes the prob with meds is getting dependent thats why you need to limit your self to 2-3 a day or just one before you have a stressfull situation coming up.
my self prescribed prescription only costs me 30 euro a week and iv got about 1000 tablets.....so my thinking is if i can get habituated in living a normal everyday life like "normal" people instead of being afraid to go out side the door!! Then after a year of that is should become second nate, like we've all learned to live day to day anxious so why not jus learn to live normally and re-train your thinking so silly thing dont bother you anymore.....


i could send you some of my valium no-oil if you wanna try this approach

Self prescribed? How do yu do that?!
I wouldn't try meds unless my doctor recommended them right now.
I'm too self-destructive - though i may tell him i haven't had a proper nights sleep in WEEKS!
I'm trying to cure myself with CBT. Just gotta stop being a lazy fecker and d it!!!

shylouth, self prescribing is one of the worst things you can do with anxiety issues, i would advice u to stop and please dont offer valium to people on this forum.

yes the meds help u relax but unless prescribed by your doctor u shud not be taking them. if you went to doc he would not prescribe valium as it is addictive. go to your doctor about ur anxiety and look into getting counselling. CBT is the most effective treatment for anxiety, depression, anger issues etc etc.

here is a link to CBT for social anxiety which i done in an anxiety management group http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=40

kk, im doing alright now. still have anxiety attacks brought on by myself but i feel a whole lot better after re reading the CBT for it. i found the best way to get past was the breathing technique ( when u have anxiety or panic attack, ur taken in more oxygen, resulting in chemical changes in the brain, causing elevated heart beat, faster breathing, feeling faint, racing thoughts, so by breathing in through my nose 4 secs, holding for 2 secs and breathing out through my mouth for 6 secs i was able to control it ). simple yet effective.

christina i got a letter off the college yesterday to sit that numerical exam on 24th of this month. they would not give me any info on it tho. so i can only guess what is gonna be on it .

got a letter and an assessment form from WIT today. all i have to do is, fill it out, send it back and wait to see if i get in. no interview or exam required. im pretty confident i ll get a place , so was a good day for me . roll on july <<<< thats when i will find out if i will be accepted.

Good luck with the assessments Johnny, let me know how you get on.

I feel like shit today, gotta flu virus and it kinda ruined my weekend, even though i ended up going out.

And i'm having alot of problems at work lately, boss is watching me like a hawk, i heard some lies about me at work which really upset me. So now i feel like every move i make, it's being noted. And i wouldn't mind but i always do my work, but now i feel like anything i do isn't good enough. I want out of that place asap.

And i know its my coworker whos stirring shit, so many two faced people, but i'm not fooled by all the smiles and pleasantries, i know what was said and I won't forget it.

Rant over

I have been very sick the past 2 days - throat/ear infection along with a fever and stomach bug. And i have to fly over to England Sunday for interview on me own

i hope to god i get better soon or i'll blow my chance. i'm nervous enough as it is but im so ill atm that i can't think about the interview.

feeling good about getting out and about organising things and trying to set some goals

Right now i just feel lonely

.

Turns out that i have pneumonia, so i'm off work for the next week. I'm gonna be bored outta my mind, and it sucks that the weather is so nice and i can't enjoy it.

If i knew i had pneumonia i wouldnt have travelled to England, i had a nightmare over there, the weather was even hotter over there and i had a big jacket on me cos i was shivering. And when i got to the hotel i was violently sick, i honestly thought that i was gonna go into a coma cos i started hallucinating in the room (shivering, sweating like a madwoman), at one point i thought my mam had came to collect me, and i had a full conversation, i'm sure the guests in the other room appreciated that. I didnt leave the room all day, and to make it worse i had no painkillers with me, i really was ready to collapse.

Only found out the next day that there was a chemist across the road ffs. But i couldnt get out of bed anyway.

I just about managed to attend the interview, but when they were talking i could feel my eyes closing, i got barely any sleep and i was starving.

And don't talk to me about the plane - i had to fork out 3 euro for a tiny bottle of water, thanks ryanair.

Never again do i want a nightmare of a trip, and never again will i go on a plane with a cold, i thought my ears were gonna explode.

On a positive note, i did manage to buy a big bag of drumstick lollies today, i'm never too old or too sick to enjoy them

Hope you're okay - pneumonia sounds like a right nightmare!!

Thanks Charlene, i always thought pneumonia was something that would put you on your death bed, but i'm still here!

It is a nightmare, my lungs feels 'heavy', and i really have no energy to do much. And i'm getting really bad migraines when i'm coughing. I might go for a small walk later on, but it will have to be slow because i dont have the lung capacity for anything else.

Bloody typical - as soon as i join a gym, i get this, so it's a waste of membership now.

Last night was the first night in a week that i slept without waking up every 2 hours.

jesus. hope ur feeling better soon christina. i thought the same about pneumonia. sounds nasty tbh.

in further news. i am growing quiet annoyed with myself because im letting my room mates walk all over me because i simply cant say no. ud think it be easy but fk me, its the opposite.

Just say no Johnny, don't let them walk over you. Be strong

I'm not feeling too well today, and i don't just mean the pneumonia (which is really pissing me off now, because i also have a problem with my hearing now, and my ears have gone all funny), but i'm very depressed today. It might be to do with the fact that i didnt get the job, and i was very dissapointed.

I really hate my life atm, nothing is going right for me now, i've no one to talk to about my problems, and i feel trapped. no direction and i've no future. I don't know how to get out of my misery, and everyone is getting on with their lives, having fun, with friends, and here i am lonely and i don't know what my next move will be.

Everything i have, i have worked so hard for, and where has that got me? No where. I'm still in the same place, single, friends are few and far between, and i hate my job. I hate the way i look, and i hate the way my life turned out. I always thought things would get better for me, but they just haven't. And now i'm stuck. And i'm hating every moment of my life.

I dont know how long i can keep pretending everything will work out 'fine' for me, because it never does, even when i wish it will work out better, it just ends up a failure. Like me.

It feels good to type out how i'm feeling, i have no one to tell in my life, so this is a place i can get my frustrations out.

Starting to feel human again, after 10 days!

Im still hoping to get a few more days off work though, hope the doctor will sign me off, though i doubt it. Maybe if i smoked more.................

And btw, healthy eating doesnt make a difference, things like pneumonia will take its toll no matter what you eat. Good job i'm ordering a huge takeaway tonight!

@Christina:
I know how you feel. I'm a total loner with no life, no job, and despise myself. And to top it all off, the bitch who caused me to work so hard to lose weight (maneater) lost 24lbs in 2 fucking months!!! I mean, how's that even possible?! Meh, probably an STD knowing her... (bitchy, but im allowed!) I cant lose a single pound, and the ONE time in my life i run, it prevents me from walking for days! (it was 3-4 days ago and I'm only recovering now...) Think i may try NROLFW (weightlifting for women), 'cos cardio just wasnt made for me! God ive made this all about me - sorry Christina!!
Maybe the job wasn't meant to happen - Theres bound to be something better out there? Don't smoke more - just try exaggerate your illness like i do sometimes. (sometimes its the only way they'll listen)....

@Johnny:
Whats going on with your housemates? I've decided that, god forbid, if i'm ever single again, i'm living alone. There's so much unneccessary shit to put up with when you live with other people!!

Ha thanks charlene, yeah i'm still not feeling great today either, i feel my flu is coming back, great.... maybe i should have taken more time off work, everyone is saying that i look shook up and tbf i have lost nearly lost 2 stone in weight.......but it's not something i'm proud of cos i look like a walking skeleton atm, i'm way too thin. But i'm just not able to eat like i used to!

Would love to leave work, if only i could afford to!

Yeah and i agree about living on your own, if i could afford a place on my own, i would!

im after getting it sorted, i just had to be assertive !! on a plus note tho. i got my cat back today from the vet, ( well hes actually my housemates cat but im the one looking after him and when i leave to go to college, the little fecker is coming with me, ha).

I didn't know u liked cats Johnny!

Feeling a bit down today, nothing really to look forward to atm. And then to come home from work to find my dad so drunk he was hallucinating just made my day

haha. before my house mate got this cat i would never of gotten one. id much prefer dogs, however it turns out cats are kinda cool, well this fella is anyways. you hear stuff that cats are independant and kind of dicks but the cat we have is the opposite. he loves the attention, being around people and he always shows affection. if ur sitting down, he`d sit down beside you and cuddle into ya, haha. he also hates being alone !!

btw, theres always something to look forward to. if you have nothing to do, you can catch up on some tv shows, read a book, listen to music, do the house work, practice CBT ( i would defo recommend that last one, you ll feel an awful lot better afterwards and lot more in control). u just gotta change ur thinking is all. when u tell yourself that there is nothing to look forward ( u might not even be aware your doing it), its gonna make u feel down, depressed, angry . if u tell yourself, your gonna have a great day doing whatever, u ll start to turn it around and will start feeling better.

thoughts > emotions > behaviour !!

negative thinking > feeling down, sad, angry, anxious> avoiding stuff, staying at home, procrastinating.

positive thinking > feeling good, in control, happy, confident, relaxed > more energy, wanting to do stuff, inspired to do something.

it all makes sense. lets just say that u think about a negative past event or u think about an upcoming event, like a family gathering. ur thinking gets the ball rolling, how are u gonna feel ?? however if u think about something positive, like ur fav tv show, music, or something u enjoy, how do u think u ll feel then ?? u dont have to accept this negative thoughts, why suffer when u can change it all in a sec. we all have the choice to be happy, sad , confident. just gotta know how to do it. nxt time ur feeling down, or some other negative thought, emotion. just ask questions about whether ur thinking, emotions are justified, true or facts. if their not, then u can begin to turn it all around .

padmasana wrote:haha. before my house mate got this cat i would never of gotten one. id much prefer dogs, however it turns out cats are kinda cool, well this fella is anyways. you hear stuff that cats are independant and kind of dicks but the cat we have is the opposite. he loves the attention, being around people and he always shows affection. if ur sitting down, he`d sit down beside you and cuddle into ya, haha. he also hates being alone !!

btw, theres always something to look forward to. if you have nothing to do, you can catch up on some tv shows, read a book, listen to music, do the house work, practice CBT ( i would defo recommend that last one, you ll feel an awful lot better afterwards and lot more in control). u just gotta change ur thinking is all. when u tell yourself that there is nothing to look forward ( u might not even be aware your doing it), its gonna make u feel down, depressed, angry . if u tell yourself, your gonna have a great day doing whatever, u ll start to turn it around and will start feeling better.

thoughts > emotions > behaviour !!

negative thinking > feeling down, sad, angry, anxious> avoiding stuff, staying at home, procrastinating.

positive thinking > feeling good, in control, happy, confident, relaxed > more energy, wanting to do stuff, inspired to do something.

it all makes sense. lets just say that u think about a negative past event or u think about an upcoming event, like a family gathering. ur thinking gets the ball rolling, how are u gonna feel ?? however if u think about something positive, like ur fav tv show, music, or something u enjoy, how do u think u ll feel then ?? u dont have to accept this negative thoughts, why suffer when u can change it all in a sec. we all have the choice to be happy, sad , confident. just gotta know how to do it. nxt time ur feeling down, or some other negative thought, emotion. just ask questions about whether ur thinking, emotions are justified, true or facts. if their not, then u can begin to turn it all around .

Yeah i know what you mean - i'm reading the secret by rhonda byrne atm, it's about positive thinking. I'm just not a positive person at all. But i try. This week was ok, work was alright, and i'm starting to make moves on emigrating. Now i'm applying for my visa for canada, and i've a holiday booked for toronto and new york during the summer, so im looking forward to it.


Funds have been tight lately, dunno where all my money is going to, but i'm not going out for the next 2 weeks just to get my finances in order.

And i'm going surfing on Sunday, i've only been once before, but i loved it!