excellent site with cbt homework for SA, GAD, DEPRESSION et etc......

hi all, just thought id throw this site up ere. it has treatment for all types of anxiety, depression and low self esteem . its cbt and proven to be the best way to combat the disorders!! when i went for my anxiety treatment , the methods/work they used was from that site !! cbt for anxiety, depression, low self esteem if u need any more info, please let me know !!

Cheers for the link, i desperately need to do something like cbt. My outlook on life and my self image isnt great, it's been worse, but it's still not great.

I need to work on my self esteem before i do anything else i think!!

How did the treatment go for you?

the treatment was very good, learned alot about anxiety and how to control/battle it. im a lot more confident about it these days and i dont seem to have trouble with it, because now i know im in control, thats sounds wicked cliched, haha, but its true. the thing i find about anxiety is, it can come back at any time , i remember i was in a good place last summer, and all of a sudden it came back 10x times worse than b4, so im hoping , that if it does come back, i ll have the tools to deal with it!! we done the social anxiety book in the anxiety treatment group, which is on that site, even tho i dont have social anxiety ( i think i have GAD) it helped out an awful lot. theres also homework there for self esteem which im gonna tackle myself !!

Sounds good! I don't think meds work for me, only Xanax which i take the odd time to put me to sleep, but i havent used it in a while.

How long was the course? And if you dont mind me asking, how much? My pdoc has referred me to a CBT specialist, but i can't afford it if its too expensive.

i wood nt recommend meds at all tbh, if your on meds for yrs , its diff story! even tho sayin that, my ould fella was on meds for anxiety for over 20 yrs and he does nt use dem anymore. anxiety is a learned behaviour, theres nothing mentally wrong, everyone has it ! by learning to rethink, you can get rid of it, sounds simple and it really is ! its what u think that effects your mood (anxiety). so by challenging yours thoughts u can beat it but there is stgys u have to learn 1st to combat it. thats where cbt comes in.

as for your questions, the course was 10 weeks long, we met up once a week for a hour and a half. for the remainder of the week we done the homework.
the course cost me nothing tho, i have a medical card, haha !! i went to my gp and he referred me to the group. if you cant afford cbt, u can do the homework yourself, which u can find on that site. its the exact same stuff i was doing ! u dont need a group, it does help but its not necessary. when u start the homework, keep at it and u will see results. if u need help with any of the stuff, just let me know. btw........... have u got social anxiety, GAD or........... ???


oh yea, one other thing !! if you want to beat anxiety, you mite wanna cut back on the anxiety forums........ they mite help at the start but they make u worse in the long run. people on there tend to feed off each others negativity which keeps the anxiety going. i found that out myself with that site social phobia world. the internet is a blessing and a curse sometimes, lol.

Yes i totally agree with you - Anxiety is a learned behaviour.

And what i've also noticed is that when you try to change a negative behaviour/thought into a positive one, it is very difficult, as you will always try to resort back to the familiar thought/behaviour.

Ah ya the good ol medical card, had one myself until this year, its only now i realise how expensive the doctors are, never mind the prescriptions.

€100 for a box of antidepressants that would only last me a month?? I soon weaned myself off them when i realised i they were costing that much.

I think i have a combination of SA and GAD. But its more SA. It stems from a fear of failure, and being ridiculed in front of people, so i don't seem to put myself 'on the line' and risk stuff, even if it means i could gain from it.

I have very low self esteem - what people see is not what i see. When i see people my age, and see how little i have achieved, it kinda upsets me, so i tend to avoid socialising, and i try to avoid nights out.

Which means the likes of tonight, i am here drinking alone in the apartment. Kinda sounds odd, but i feel more relaxed. I don't mind hanging out with a few people, but busy pubs/gyms/ restuarants scare the shite outta me

And yeah i totally agree on cutting back on those forums - i dont go it much anymore, only to message back people who i have become pally with.

Heck i even hate FB! I would love to delete the bloody thing! I have decided to do a 'friend' cull on there - half the people only added me to see what i'm getting up to with my life, yet they wouldn't cross the road if i was on the other side......... deleting!!

Thanks for the that Johnny, i really need to get myself some help, but cannot afford to pay ridiculous fees!

And what i've also noticed is that when you try to change a negative behaviour/thought into a positive one, it is very difficult, as you will always try to resort back to the familiar thought/behaviour.

i understand what u mean when u say that !! thats where cbt comes in, it gives u the tools to change ur belief system, its not an easy fix but it does work !!
i think i have GAD myself, i actually think i had it for yrs and it brought on social anxiety, which i managed to get rid of but the GAD is kinda sticking around, lol. heres the link for the social anxiety work that i done...... http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=40 . as for facebook, i used to hate it myself but dont find it too bad anymore. i must add ya on dere, haha. i ll send on my link through pm !!

This looks really good

jhanniffy wrote:This looks really good

it is j , you should give it a go !! do each module for 1 week at a time.

I am doing the assertiveness one at the moment - It's very straight forward which I like.

check out this topic, its on a forum on a philosophy site. it makes sense and its a good way way to look at things. you ll know what i mean after u read it!!
http://www.philosophychatforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=19321

just thought id post this. seen it on a site.



Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is an attitude which allows individuals to have positive yet realistic views of themselves and their situations. Self-confident people trust their own abilities, have a general sense of control in their lives, and believe that, within reason, they will be able to do what they wish, plan, and expect. Having self-confidence does not mean that individuals will be able to do everything. Self-confident people have expectations that are realistic. Even when some of their expectations are not met, they continue to be positive and to accept themselves.

People who are not self-confident depend excessively on the approval of others in order to feel good about themselves. They tend to avoid taking risks because they fear failure. They generally do not expect to be successful. They often put themselves down and tend to discount or ignore compliments paid to them. By contrast, self-confident people are willing to risk the disapproval of others because they generally trust their own abilities. They tend to accept themselves; they don’t feel they have to conform in order to be accepted.

Self-confidence is not necessarily a general characteristic which pervades all aspects of a person’s life. Typically, individuals will have some areas of their lives where they feel quite confident, e.g., academics, athletics, while at the same time they do not feel at all confident in other areas, e.g., personal appearance, social relationships.

How is Self-Confidence Initially Developed?
Many factors affect the development of self-confidence. Parents’ attitudes are crucial to children’s feelings about themselves, particularly in children’s early years. When parents provide acceptance, children receive a solid foundation for good feelings about themselves. If one or both parents are excessively critical or demanding, or if they are overprotective and discourage moves toward independence, children may come to believe they are incapable, inadequate, or inferior. However, if parents encourage children’s moves toward self-reliance and accept and love their children when they make mistakes, children will learn to accept themselves and will be on their way to developing self-confidence.

Surprisingly, lack of self-confidence is not necessarily related to lack of ability. Instead it is often the result of focusing too much on the unrealistic expectations or standards of others, especially parents and society. Friends’ influences can be as powerful or more powerful than those of parents and society in shaping feelings about one’s self. Students in their college years re-examine values and develop their own identities and thus are particularly vulnerable to the influence of friends.

Assumptions that Continue to Influence Self-Confidence
In response to external influences, people develop assumptions; some of these are constructive and some are harmful. Several assumptions that can interfere with self-confidence and alternative ways of thinking are:
Assumption: “I must always have love or approval from every significant person in my life.”
Alternative: This is a perfectionistic, unattainable goal. It is more realistic and desirable to develop personal standards and values that are not completely dependent on the approval of others.

Assumption: “I must be thoroughly competent, adequate, and achieving in all important areas of my life.”
Alternative: This again is a perfectionistic, unattainable goal and suggests that personal worth is determined by achievement. Achievement can be satisfying but does not make you more worthy. Instead, worth is an inherent quality and all people possess it.

Assumption: “My past remains all important and control my feelings and behaviors in the present.”
Alternative: While it is true that your confidence was especially vulnerable to external influences during your childhood, as you grow older you can gain awareness and perspective on what those influences have been. In doing so, you can choose which influences you will continue to allow to have an effect on your life. You don’t have to be helpless in the face of past events.

Self-Defeating Thought Patterns
Subscribing to these harmful assumptions leaves you vulnerable to the following self-defeating thought patterns:

All Or Nothing Thinking. "I am a total failure when my performance is not perfect.”
Seeing Only Dark Clouds. Disaster lurks around every corner and comes to be expected. For example, a single negative detail, piece of criticism, or passing comment darkens all reality. "I got a C on one chem test, now I’ll never get into medical school.”
Magnification Of Negative/Minimization Of Positive. Good things don’t count nearly as much as bad ones. "I know I won five chess games in a row, but losing this one makes me feel terrible about myself.”
Uncritical Acceptance Of Emotions As Truth. "I feel ugly so it must be true.”
Overemphasis On "Should” Statements. "Should” statements are often perfectionistic and reflective of others’ expectations rather than expressive of your own wants and desires. "Everyone should have a career plan when they come to college. I don’t so there must be something wrong with me.”
Labeling. Labeling is a simplistic process and often conveys a sense of blame. "I am a loser and it’s my fault.”
Difficulty Accepting Compliments. "You like this outfit? I think it makes me look fat.”
The following strategies may help overcome such self-defeating thought patterns.

Strategies for Developing Confidence
Emphasize Strengths. Give yourself credit for everything you try. By focusing on what you can do, you applaud yourself for efforts rather than emphasizing end products. Starting from a base of what you should do helps you live within the bounds of your inevitable limitations.
Take Risks. Approach new experiences as opportunities to learn rather than occasions to win or lose. Doing so opens you up to new possibilities and can increase your sense of self-acceptance. Not doing so turns every possibility into an opportunity for failure, and inhibits personal growth.
Use Self-Talk. Use self-talk as an opportunity to counter harmful assumptions. Then, tell yourself to "stop” and substitute more reasonable assumptions. For example, when you catch yourself expecting perfection, remind yourself that you can’t do everything perfectly, that it’s only possible to try to do things and to try to do them well. This allows you to accept yourself while still striving to improve.
Self-Evaluate. Learn to evaluate yourself independently. Doing so allows you to avoid the constant sense of turmoil that comes from relying exclusively on the opinions of others. Focusing internally on how you feel about your own behavior, work, etc. will give you a stronger sense of self and will prevent you from giving your personal power away to others.

^ good post

thank you

Have you ever read the book called 'the secret'? I'm reading it now - it's fairly good

hmmm, i ve never read it and id like to criticize it but that wood be a bit prejudice, haha. i used to believe in all that stuff b4, power of positive thinking and stuff but after learning about psych the last few months i simple cannot. if it works for ppl, thats great tho.

got this from a site, its pretty good.

Worrying, Racing, Disturbing Thoughts
Worrying, racing thoughts is the one symptom with anxiety that can bother people the most; they do not understand how they can have such thoughts that seem so scary and come with such impact. I have heard people say they fear the beginning of O.C.D or that they have awful thoughts about those closest to them, feel that they are ‘going mad’ and that they cannot control these disturbing thoughts, they seem to come without them even thinking them. Well these do have an explanation and these worrying, disturbing thoughts really are just an off-shoot of anxiety.

The reason you seem to have your attention on yourself all day and it feels like there are many thoughts running through your mind is twofold.

1. It is all the confusion about how you feel. Your mind spends all day looking for answers and trying to find a way out of this hell. Some people may even stay up all night, reflecting on the whole day and trying to figure everything out.

Eventually, thinking just becomes automatic, it becomes a habit. All day, every day, these thoughts seem to enter your head before you even think them. Look at it this way, when people meditate, they stop thinking for hours on end, until it becomes a habit and they can go all day without a worrying thought, which is why they feel so refreshed. Not you, your thoughts just carry on and on and when your mind is tired, like it is now, it grabs hold of every thought pulling them in and making them stick.

2. Why are some thoughts so bad? When you are in an anxious state, emotions seem to be tenfold, everything magnifies and a little problem becomes massive. Something that you could dismiss when you were healthy, can stick around all day.

Anxiety is really just adrenalin that needs an outlet and this includes manifesting itself into scary, irrational, strange thoughts, they are not important and should just be seen for what they are, anxiety just playing its tricks. Anxious thoughts are totally normal when suffering with anxiety. People ask me. 'Why do I have all these anxious, scary thoughts?, 'Because you have anxiety' is alway my answer. It's a simple response to a simple question.

These are just some of the scary thoughts on anxiety that I have come across. I call them the ‘what ifs’!

What if no one can cure me?

What if it’s not anxiety, but a different mental problem?

What if my old self is lost forever

What if there is something else wrong with me, brain tumour etc?

What if I lose control?

What if I can't breathe?

What if I have to live like this for the rest of my life?

What if this feeling never goes away?

What if it’s just me that feels like this?

What if I'll never be able to enjoy the things I used to?

What if I have an attack and pass out?

What if I cannot be the person I used to be?

You may have said one or two of the above to yourself or recognise a fear you have. Well, I did too; it was always ‘yes, but what if?’ Well, all of these ‘what ifs?’ usually amount to nothing. They prove to be just an overactive mind playing its tricks on you. Thoughts seem to come uninvited and always seem to hold such force when we are anxious. Also, a lack of understanding of anxiety can bring these fears. Like me, you may have gone for a long time without anyone explaining to you why you feel like you do and you may not even have been told that it is anxiety. Can you see why these fears can build up in people? A lack of understanding of their condition, coupled with the habit of always thinking the worst compounds their fears. Add this to a tired mind that has lost a lot of its resilience, and you have a whole host of ‘what ifs?’.

Some people worry to the extent that they believe everything they feel is life threatening. A headache becomes a brain tumour, a stomach ache can become cancer and so on, and no matter how many times their doctor tells them there is nothing wrong with them, they are never quite convinced.

If this is you, then realise these thoughts are just figments of your imagination, mainly created by your anxious state. Everything becomes magnified when we are anxious. Let these thoughts go, don’t react to them and see them as just that, thoughts that carry no weight whatsoever, no matter how loud they shout.

When we try too hard to do ANYTHING, it seems to slip further from grasp. This includes to ridding oneself of unwanted thoughts. The more you "try" to push them away, the longer they linger and the stronger their impact. When we welcome and give room to unwanted thoughts, they lose their significance and quickly diminish. When you impose a false sense of importance upon a thought, it will often appear more serious than it deserves.

Time again is a great healer concerning this condition. I allowed them to flow in and flow out and I didn’t react. When I did this, I noticed the scary thoughts seem to lose their scary edge. Stop fighting them, just say: come if you wish, I no longer care, you are not important.

Don’t ever tell yourself that you must not think these thoughts. Let all thoughts come; do not run away from any of them; see them for what they are, just thoughts, exaggerated because of the way you feel. They can do you no harm and they mean nothing. They won’t be around when you recover, so pay them no respect. The best way to alleviate these intrusive thoughts is to allow them their space by NOT trying to force them out.

Why not try following a negative/scary thought through and ask yourself, what’s the worst thing that could happen? Then ask yourself if it is really going to happen? Is this thought rational in any way? If you do this, you may find an answer to a thought you have been so frightened off, so that next time these thoughts enter your head, deep down inside there will be a part of you that can see them for what they really are and let them go.

I often get asked ‘How I do I stop thinking a certain way’, my answer is DON’T try, if it’s not important whether your thoughts are scary or not, why try to stop them, give them their space, this is the way to lose them. Fighting thoughts and trying to rid yourself of them is the wrong approach and a battle you will lose for sure, again you are fighting something that is totally normal in the circumstances. Don't think you are going crazy or try and fight or change the way you think